I think Spain might be on for the Team of the Year award; here's Cesc Fabregas to talk about their triumph. Hmmm, no presentation though. Anyway, moving on. In a year that he won the US Open and sunk the final putt to reclaim the Ryder Cup for Europe, he has been really, really impressive. McDowell, I think, would be my preferred choice to win tonight. Team of the Year goes to the European Ryder Cup team. So much for my Spain tip, then.
They beat, er, Chelsea and the England cricket team that won the World Twenty He also doffs his cap to team members Westwood and McDowell. There'll be no cynicism in this particular entry, not a jot of it. Top stuff and well deserved. She came third behind Ryan Giggs and Jenson Button last year. Michael Johnson describes her as "great" while Denise Lewis adds that she is a "supreme competitor". Ennis is one of only two women up for the award this year, a fact which disappoints Tessa Clegg.
Shameful," she says. Let her rip, Fred. Meanwhile Lineker, who seems to believe he is a reincarnation of Johnny Carson, falls headlong into the Peter Drury-esque trap of trying to pretend he has a vocabulary by using the word 'sumptuous', as if he has any idea what it means. This has to be one of the most loathsome, auto-fellating programmes ever to air but it's the same every year I think this clip, courtesy of Swann's Ashes video diary explains his case pretty eloquently.
Sprinkler dance, everybody! Does Evans really know anything about golf? Although I suppose there's no arguing with that statement, given that Westwood is currently world No1. Nick Faldo in Not quite had the stellar year of McDowell for me, though.
He can't be there but on his acceptance video he looks pretty chuffed to have won until the point that he is forced to hold his smile for about five second too long. Then he starts to appear uncomfortable. No, really. Not really. Based on my own deciphering of requirements - i. With Eric Bristow coming second year after year based on a minor level of arrogance. Coach of the Year award: I think it's downhill from here, readers. Make your own jokes up about that statement.
On to the lifetime bauble next Geoff Byrom is right up to speed and full of spleen: "Monty? Yer aving a giraffe! Andy Flower all the way. Turned England into genuine world beaters whereas Monty was just chief cheerleader. The Lifetime Achievement award is won by David Beckham , although I think we knew about this beforehand.
Well, this has all been worthwhile. To be fair Beckham gets about two full minutes of applause, so I suppose he's understandably a bit moved. He's right on form tonight is Beckham, and no mistake. Bobby Charlton was on hand to give him his gong.
Should it be possible to win a prize for 'lifetime achievement' at the age of 35? We only hear most sports stars when doing interviews, even the most interesting and entertaining people can sound a bit dull in those cases. Lifetime achievement award? Tony McCoy and Phil Taylor could have had this 10 years ago and still be more worthy than he is.
Or Frank Williams. Just to mention people featured this year Or Paul Scholes, whose achieved more than Beckham. He must have one hell of an agent. He actually thanked Simon Fuller in his little speech. I mean, I liked the Spice Girls as much as the next adolescent boy but how much of an effect did they have on his career? Oh yeah.
What's your gut telling you? On second thoughts, maybe keep that to yourself. I'm going to plump for G-Mac though AP is probably riding right on his shoulder. Less than five minutes until I get to go home and forget this ever happened we find out who the winner is. The Sports Personality of the Year is Damn, it's in reverse order. Jessica Ennis is third for the second year running! Pats on the back all round, everyone. He thanks his family, his agent, and that's basically it.
Down comes the ticker tape and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say I'm giddy on emotion. Or maybe it's just the air conditioning in here, I don't know. Anyway, the bookies were right, I was laughably wrong and you can all now start arguing amongst yourselves as to whether whipping a horse is a sport. To finish, I'll return, one last time to theme of the start: anger.
Unmitigated fury. It's been a blast. Turn autoplay off Turn autoplay on. Jump to content [s] Jump to site navigation  Jump to search  Terms and conditions . Alan Gardner. It's that time again AP McCoy may be carved from granite - but the sheer courage of the man turns me to marshmallow.
The Ryder Cup montage It's a great way to spend a snowy winter evening. Phil Taylor comes in second , which means that Today in pictures. BBC Sports Personality of the Year — in pictures Bradley Wiggins capped his remarkable sporting year by taking home the big prize at the ceremony in London. A glass of wine with a rough sleeper, Santa in trunks, a thousand partying Muscovites … in a My Best Shot special, top photographers pick the image that sums up winter for them.
Kimon, an eight-year-old pet female long-tailed monkey, treats a kitten as her baby in Bintan Island, Indonesia. You almost expected Colin Montgomerie to pull out a microphone and join her in a duet, or Simon Cowell to leap out and deliver a withering condemnation. A tired conceit about being stalked by Sue Barker raised a few laughs, and he followed it by delivering his verdict on Phil Taylor.
Every night he's down the pub, training," he said. Although Taylor took it in good humour, he must privately have been seething at this two-decade-old view of darts getting such a prominent airing. To be fair, Corden's schtick was exactly what it set out to be: warm, familiar Sunday night fare, especially to those viewers who watched him do exactly the same thing at last year's ceremony.
He turned appealingly on Fabio Capello - "don't worry, he won't be offended, he can barely understand a word I'm saying" - and even name-checked Tony McCoy "I like his steak and onion crisps". There was, of course, only one reason for that, and that was the reason everybody was there in the first place. In an age when awards ceremonies appear to be merging into each other, Sports Personality was rescued, appropriately enough, by sport.
For all we could tell, the 57th edition of Sports Personality could have been the Mobos. Just one thing was required to complete the full set. It was, indeed, the height of tastelessness. Except, of course, it wasn't.
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JLS, I'm sorry but you can't go. Dermot O'Leary, you're borderline. Despite his success over the pond, Corden came back as smithy to support this year's campaign. To do something really incredible, donate to Sport Relief by visiting sportrelief. By Danny Walker. James Corden has given us some cracking sketches as Smithy over the years Image: BBC Get a daily dose of showbiz gossip straight to your inbox with our free email newsletter Sign up When you subscribe we will use the information you provide to send you these newsletters.
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This is a time when sports stars either reveal absolutely nothing about themselves — through carefully prepared and incredibly tedious rehearsed answers — or absolutely everything, as has happened with Tiger Woods. The sketch was hugely popular and Cordon found that other luminaries of the sports world — Fred Flintoff, Jenson Button, even the perpetually glum Andy Murray were willing to volunteer themselves for laughs at their own expense.
In it, he bounded up on stage to accept a mock coach of the year award from Steve Redgrave. The idea was that Smithy would deliver a speech scolding various athletes for their shortcomings and that they would play along, looking suitably offended or displeased as the occasion demanded. On the way up, Smithy stopped to embrace Capello, who took it all in good spirits but looked a little bit uneasy at what was happening around him.
On the stage, Cordon began his routine. Tell you wot, how you were never picked for England is beyond me. But the interesting thing is that once he was up there, once he had their attention, Cordon did not settle for easy laughs. He used the opportunity to deliver what sounded like a plea from the heart and from the public, from one of the millions of geezers who his alter ego is supposed to represent.
And as the camera panned around the room, it was clear that what he said was registering. I see a room full of people looking for their next sponsorship deal, book deal, TV series. Whether by accident or design, the sketch and speech deviated from being an in-joke to being something of a lecture or a moral warning.
Some of the stars played along until the end — young Tom Daly, the diving lad, for instance, shook his head in mock disbelief. But there were plenty of others who understood that, through the knowing quips, they had been given a message that held an undeniable truth. It would be fascinating to know what Capello made of it all. The first thing the Italian will probably do is seek to establish just who the hell WG Grace is in case there exists a combative central midfielder with whom he is unacquainted.
It could be said the England boys were, as Just William might say, good eggs for sending themselves up in a Smithy video. But whatever success English sports stars achieve, winning the World Cup is a national obsession. And there is a danger, surely, in larking around for the cameras, in sucking up to a funny man and in showing you can laugh at yourself.
The trouble is that it boils down to another distraction. And unless Rio and company can triumph in South Africa this summer, then the joke falls flat. Maybe that is why Capello alone looked perturbed as Smithy told it like it was, as only he could.
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